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Are Cellphones No Longer Calling Devices?

3/28/2015

I get that technology is an ever changing field. I get that phones can do some pretty dope shit like organize your chaotic life, allow you to do everything hands free, remind you of daily appointments etc., but have people forgotten that they still operate as a calling device?

Call me old fashioned but I love getting calls. I enjoy being up until the wee hours just talking about real world randomness and laughing at stuff that probably isn't that funny. It seems people simply use the call button when rushed or impatient. Why is that? Has technology advanced us so far that we cannot manage a slow spell?

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Brothas and Sistahs

3/26/2015

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I absolutely love when I talk to older men and women and they address me as little sistah or queen. I love the comradeship. I love the connection it builds. I love the RESPECT! Now in no way am I saying if we as humans do not address one another with pet names we are showing respect. It’s just different. Words can’t really explain it. It’s just an overall feel-good, well feeling!

I personally do not associate the terms brotha and sistah with any specific ethnicity, just a culture. I bring this up, because not too long ago an older Hispanic male addressed me as sister during a conversation. I can recall during our in-depth conversation, about Fresno and the ways of society, a few stares from other people (Black, Asian, and Mexican). At first we took it as they heard our conversation and had an opinion. However, when he addressed them and invited them into our conversation they turned their backs or shook their heads.

Real talk what do you all make of this? How do you feel about these terms? Havre you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did address it, if at all?

WRITTEN BY: VIOLA CONSTANCE | @Voila_its_Viola

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Can't Turn a Hoe into a Housewife/Husband . . . Or can you?

3/25/2015

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My definition of a hoe . . . is not actually a solid definition. I mean there are certain characteristics that I find to be eh hoe-ish, but that is kind of as far as it goes. I've never been one to just call someone a hoe. Could be because I have no knowledge of what it is nor have I come up with a personal way of giving it definition. I've heard girls call other girls this in many different aspects; a girl who has sex with multiple people, a female (like how some loosely use the term bitch), and even in a "friendly" manner (ie. "Hey hoe!" Which I do not understand at all). I've heard guys use it as well with the same references minus the latter. It isn't cute at all, but what does it mean?

I remember in college (as if it were so long ago) a "sister" of mine telling a group of us a few things in terms of sex and her relationship during a discussion. And I thought well damn, that's a hoe move. Regardless of how much I love and respected her in many other ways and aspects, it was a hoe move to me. I told her that was just my opinion, I'm not judging her, nor am I trying to down play her in anyway. What matters is what you think and how you feel about yourself.

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Mommy Dearest

3/23/2015

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“You going out with who, where? Text me the details when you get there.”

Everyone has that one friend who always –without signal- takes on the parental role. Aside from the fact that I use the word son a lot (to males or females, but males mainly these days), I am so sure that is me. I’m the one that friends share secrets with, get advice from and vent to amongst other things. As of late, I’m seeing just how “motherly” I am.

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Girls Get Friend Zoned Too

3/21/2015

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“Because I simply didn’t like her in that way there’s a pretty thick line between friend and more than friends material lmao. Because I can be friends with just about anybody whose a good person, but I wont date you just because you’re a good person there has to be similar goals, lifestyle, personality plays a far bigger factor in terms of what sets them off or what they enjoy doing for fun.” – M. Rand

I’ve heard plenty of talk about this guy being put in the friend zone or “awe bro, she said you’re her bff, friend zoned!” but it isn’t too often that there is talk about a girl who has been friend zoned. Real talk, it happens! Even elitedaily.com had an article on it where I first learned of “bro-zoned.” It was after reading a few articles one night (randomly) that I realized, awe shit, I’ve super been bro-zoned.

“Usually if she’s way more on it than me. Like if she’s saying things she wish she had a boyfriend for and I don’t see us like that I’m going to try to friend zone that. ” – G. Guess

Looking back over my young 23 years of life, I’ve heard it all from “you’d make the perfect wife” to “if I’m not with anybody and you’re not with anybody when we’re like 33 we should get together.” I’ve been the homie (damn bro) that guys told everything to; the chicks they’ve dealt with past, present and next, family issues, dreams and aspirations, y’all get me. Yet even with all that I gave –advice, support, space, etc- I’m never thought to be in the running. So I’m basically like that nice guy that has everything going for him, except moving out of the friend zone, but why? I’m not needy or overbearing. I’m not crazy emotional. Maybe I’m too disconnected? Hmm.

“I did not see her like that and some girls just come on too strong, always on me, always want me around them or always calling and texting me; like be cool, don’t be all up on me.” – R. Broadnax

WRITTEN BY: VIOLA CONSTANCE | @Voila_its_Viola

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Encourage, Support & Uplift

3/21/2015

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Why are we not doing these things daily within our communities?

This has been something I wondered about for years. I’ve witnessed every other racial community do it in all aspects from career choices to living situations and more; from white folk to Mexican people. Now, I’m not saying we in the Black African American community do not do it, but I honestly wish we did it noticeably more. Not for show, not for others, but for ourselves. I’m talking about encouraging, supporting, and uplifting one another in all [positive] things we do. Not after we have made strides and accomplished things. Not when we are in a rough patch and it just seems nice to do.

It has always struck me strange when I show support or encourage my peers in something they are pursuing or are passionate about like music or moving for better opportunities or even something like a hobby they may not have ever taken seriously I get responses like “thanks,” “really?,” or “are you serious?” Yes I’m serious. And why do I not get the same support from these same peers? We are a talented bunch in our community and some times I honestly feel we sale ourselves short. Why do we do that? Why do we act surprised when someone notices, appreciates and supports our talent?

Two real life examples: Okay, I’m a little Black girl from the hood who loves to write and who would like to have a marriage BEFORE children. I’ve heard everything (regarding my writing and my news packages) from “who knew you could talk like that/knew those big words,” “you write/sound like a white person,” or one that really shocked me, “I never knew black people liked writing, I can’t stand it.” Mind you, all of these comments came from black “friends” of mine. Hmm. Let’s continue. In terms of my views of marriage and children (for myself), I’ve heard “yeah right, you’ll be next [expecting a baby].” -_- Really though? Why couldn’t these black folks of my immediate community just uplift me? Encourage me? And support my personal decisions in MY life? What’s so hard about that? I’m confused.

Okay next example. A girl I went to high school with posted a poem/note about R&B on her Facebook page. I complimented her, because 1) I agreed/understand/feel what she was saying in her write; 2) She is my friend and I support my peeps!; 3) She is doing something positive and sharing her talent. She replied to me ” … Be having ya girl feel all talented.” Uh, yeah, it’s because you are! Was she joking with me or was she serious? Either way, why? I did not ask her whether she was or not, because my mind took off. If joking, why joke about your talent? If serious, why question someone’s support of you, especially a friend? Now I’m not bashing her at all, this just brought forward those feelings that I’ve been brushing back time and time again and got me thinking; Do we not support, encourage, uplift each other enough that when one does it is odd and foreign to us that we joke or shut it down instead of being thankful or appreciative of the love and support?

WRITTEN BY: VIOLA CONSTANCE | @Voila_its_Viola

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Identification . . . More Than What Meets the Eye

3/20/2015

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“I have no idea what to call Black Americans, African Americans, Blacks, but I don’t want to be that racist white guy or offend anyone and have to defend my ass.” – A “white” guy from a diversity workshop in 2012.

How do you identify yourself other than human:
Do you prefer the term African American, Black, both, or neither?

This is something I’ve struggled with a majority of my life. I went in and out of stages where I cared and I did not care. Coming up I heard members of my family say I’m Black or she’s Black we in the Black community, so I just went along with Black. However, I by color was not and am not Black. Heck, my genetic makeup isn’t just “Black.” As I grew older, in films I heard African American. In books I read “we” were labeled African Americans. On forms and applications it said African Americans. In history classes (which are so watered down when in comes to “Black” history), we are taught we are from Africa. Okay, so I guess I’m African American. Wait, hold up. I’ve never been to Africa, nor has my mother, or her mother, or her mother, or hers. So, how am I African American? I went back to Black. Then I was Black American. Then I was other. Then I was confused, again. Then I was like fuck labels!

So I pose this question to all of you, what do you ID yourself as? Mexican, Hispanic, Latino/a, Black, Belizean, White, Caucasian, European. . . Have you ever felt confused like the guy in the opening quote when referencing someone? Please feel free to add to the conversation below.

WRITTEN BY: VIOLA CONSTANCE | @Voila_its_Viola

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Acquaintances or Friends

3/20/2015

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Acquaintance: a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.

Friend: a person who you like & enjoy being with, helps or supports someone or something, a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

With all of the new and rapidly growing technology relationships grow, build, strengthen, and terminate rather quickly. This generation tends to find their new BFF, bestie, PIC, ROD, ace, Day 1 … (You get it), through the likes of Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. And with constant status updates that individual [insert label here] tends to change monthly if not weekly. Now I’m in no way saying no one makes or finds true friendships “the old fashioned way” nor am I putting down my generation (although it needs to get many things together). I’m just as open to online friendships as my peers are with digitally forming relationships. I personally feel that I cannot do it, because I need actually face-to-face contact and interaction.

I often say I have no friends; which isn’t true per say, but well, it is. I am one who seeks acquaintances and or associates in the business aspect. Friends on the other hand just appear, like family you’re kinda stuck with them. That is exactly what my friends are to me, family. I don’t choose them and sometimes I have even tried to get rid of them. They just won’t go away, like a festering fungus, but eventually they grow on me and BOOM! a friendship has been formed. This could be the very reason why I have no idea how I met half of my friends (aside from the basic “oh in high school on the bus”). My point is I met my homies face-to-face in real reach out and touchable life, and we somehow clicked, not via social media madness.

Not because s/he had swag, was deemed bad, or had a considerable amount of likes on all of s/he pics on FB or Insta and “look like we’d get along and have fun”. I get that that is how some people link up or start conversations with others in reality “because you seem/look coo,” but sheesh are we really that shallow? Are you seriously bonding with and trusting these individuals that are your so-called “friends”? Are they given the title as such over substantial moments or just dope moments that look picture perfect enough for others to envy? Real talk, I’d like to know what you, my peers, think. What are your definitions of friends and what is on your checklist of what a friend is composed of?

WRITTEN BY: VIOLA CONSTANCE | @Voila_its_Viola

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Are Cellphones No Longer Calling Devices?

Brothas and Sistahs

Can't Turn a Hoe into a Housewife/Husband . . . Or can you?

Mommy Dearest

Girls Get Friend Zoned Too

Encourage, Support & Uplift

Identification . . . More Than What Meets the Eye

Acquaintances or Friends

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