So a few weeks back I shared a few of my initial experiences using dating apps to meet new people and get a few new texting buddies. Basically it was a partial fail. I’d quickly given up on Black Dating For Free and Tinder. The majority of the people creeped me out and some of the pictures just. . . really? I do not mean that in a shallow way at all, but let me just go on the record saying I do happen to like seeing men in clothing. I mean it’s nice to be comfortable in your skin, I’m happy for you bro, but sometimes it’s a bit much and I have a pretty damn awesome imagination, so just let me use that instead of you showing me the full picture before hello.

Anywhos, I kept with OkCupid and Meld through my next trial run. I’d began talking to a few cool guys (in my opinion, one was really “nerdy” <totally his words>, but his conversation and intellect were on point!). I tried several other apps and maybe I didn’t give them a fair try, but it was pretty downhill for me.

Coffee Meets Bagel: Yawns.  & Wyldfire: Speed dating with people’s friends?

Honestly, I didn’t give these two apps a chance. I made profiles and browsed, but I realized again, I’m not about this life. Coffee Meets Bagel takes too long for me. You get a “bagel” every 12 hours if I remember correctly. Only certain information on your bagel’s profile is shared until you like to reveal more. With Wyldfire you’ve got to invite some of your friends to join the network. Hmm, what is I was serious about dating and embarrassed that I was going through an app? I’m not,  but again, it seemed like too much work. I’m good.

SoulSwipe: Def Enjoyable

So I honestly took this one for a joke, more serious than BDFF, but still a joke. I assumed some crazy things to say the least, but I was wronged . . . by one guy. So I had a few matches over the 2-week period I tried it out. Out of about six matches I’ve only exchanged words with half of them. The other guys I matched up with they didn’t reach out and aside from one, I didn’t contact them either. Of the three I did speak to, one was eager to meet (and just so happened to live up the street from me) and the other was really laid back and had decent conversation (plus he was cute, score?). With the guy that wanted to meet, I was disappointed in the fact that we’d barely matched, I tried to start a conversation even agreed to give him my number to text, but every question was only met with “so when you want to meet up?” It was at that moment that I knew I needed to get my ass off of these damn apps. People are seriously looking for love, lusts and fucks, or Catfishing folks and I’m seriously not with any of that right now. That “conversation” ended rather quickly. Maybe he thought I was a big fat catfish or childish since he mentioned "adults meet up in public places like Starbucks". Eh, but I don't even have any info on you besides a picture and a name, both of which may not be yours. Moving along. The other guy, Mr. Cutie, was the perfect texting buddy. Texting with him sort of gave me that high school feeling. First person that texts me in the morning, conversation just continues no matter how many hours or days pass, and he actually talks about things and has a good sense of humor! Sheesh, where have you been? I didn’t even attempt to match up with any other guys. He had my attention for awhile.

There was also Hinge and Cupid, but aside from downloading the apps, I never got around to checking them out.

Conclusion: I’ve deleted all profiles on all apps excluding Meld (which I haven’t been on since deleting all accounts about 2 weeks ago). If ever I do decide to venture into dating apps again I’d definitely get back on OkCupid and SoulSwipe. The men, no matter the race, ethnicity, religion, career field, were all interesting in their own ways. It was fun. It was innocent. And now, for the time being, it is over. It was fun trying something new and out of my comfort zone. I went into it with an opened mind, but assumptions there would be a sort of party-line (y’all remember the party lines) feel. It wasn’t and maybe that was a bit disappointing. Also, it seemed like work to go through tons of profiles to only get a handful of matches and maybe one good conversation. I’ll stick to bumping into folks in public and having small talk and exchanging numbers and see where it goes. But in order for that to happen, I’ve got to get back comfortable with giving a random guy my number (there have been some crazies, may share a story or two with you next time).

Hey, feel free to share any experiences you may have had with online dating apps. Also, let me know how you all think my experiences were the way that they were. I’m inviting you to read me haha. Play nice!

I've been back living at home with my mother and step-father for a little over a year now and I'm noticing things about them that I am sure has happened while I was away. It makes me laugh when I have to constantly try to explain different technologies to them. My mom is now a pro at turning on laptops, getting on the Internet and logging into her email account, but she still can't figure out how to copy and paste or upload a document. My step-dad always has a cooler phone than I do, but aside from placing calls and text messages, he's clueless on how to save contacts and change ringer profiles. Typical "old people" stuff.

As of late I find myself either bored to death or fearful of death when I am in the car with them. My mom, specifically, has a thing for driving slow in the fast lane and fast in the slow lane. I'm confused. She's in a rush in no traffic and relaxed when we've got somewhere to be during rush hour. During one of these rides I realized two things; one, I really need to get a car ASAP and just run errands for her and two, my mom is really aging now.

It causes me to look back on all of the times I called my parents old when in fact they were young. I remember my little cousin and I having a debate with my mom and uncle (his dad). We were talking about them being old, their old ways, and the progression happening all around us that they weren't ready for. Both sides had valid points, although I didn't agree back then. 

But coming home and seeing the salt and pepper hair (or lack of hair), the tired eyes, the forgetfulness and short attention spans really saddens me. We like to tease our elders about aging, but what happens next? And thinking about what happens next can be scary (at least for me). This realization of age and attempting to accept the fact that my parents have aged constantly reminds me that life truely is too short.

Lately I’ve been strongly debating whether or not I should delete my Facebook page. Each time I’m about to delete it, I see photos or a family member that I’ve just connected with and I’m like oh no, too much beauty and so many memories, save it. I’ve honestly only gotten into social media in an attempt to be, well, more social. However, I feel in a way, it has backfired.

First off let me just put it out there that aside from my Tumblr page, each of my social media accounts were made by other people. During my freshman year of high school a cute guy in my class (that I’d kind of hit it off with) made me a Myspace page in our computer class. He decided to do so so we could stay in touch in case we didn’t have any classes together the next year. And because he couldn’t believe I was a high schooler not on Myspace. I mean, he could’ve just asked for my number and we could’ve stayed in touch that way, but whatever. I ended up agreeing and fell into the Myspace crowd.

The same thing occurred when it was time for me to go off to college. This time a close female friend who was like a big sister to me made my Facebook page. This time it took me awhile to really get into it. I was still holding on to Myspace. I’d gotten so used to changing my background and adding what I thought were the dopest songs on a hidden playlist. Eventually, that all got played out for me, and my Facebook usage slowly crept up.

Anywhos, now I’m feeling those feeling of needing to be free from it all. There’s so many other things I can do when I find any ounce of downtime. Write. Read. Workout. What was once a fun way to pass time has become just so blah. It seems the negative posts outnumber the positive ones. The only difference in deleting my Facebook page in comparison to my Myspace page is the connections and networking I’ve been able to do. Business and education always comes first for me. For whatever reason I feel if I delete my page I’ll miss out on some opportunities.

As of today, I’ve made up my mind that come summer it’s out of here. I mean I have a Twitter (which I barely use). That can somewhat be my social connect.

I’m a phone call, send me a text and lets meet-up kind of lady. When I do interact I like real life up-close and able to touch interaction. So mid-June I’ll finally be saying bye-bye to my Facebook page after 6 years. R.I.P.

In October of 2013 I took to my Tumblr to vent a bit about life after college and just began to open up about myself, my thoughts/beliefs and life in general. Several months prior to this, I graduated with a BA degree, a minor and a certificate. I'd worked pretty consistently since I'd graduated high school and all throughout college. I'd held several internships and part-time work positions in my chosen field. About six months before graduating, I began applying to jobs as well as graduate programs. I thought I was set. I'd done everything right and even had several professors, previous supervisors and mentors who were willing to write letters of recommendation whenever I needed.

So why did I find myself beyond bored and jobless after graduating? According to job requirements and a department chair of a prospect grad program, lack of 2-3 solid years of experience in the field. Wait, what, really? I'd held one job 2 1/2 years throughout college and all others rotated around that. No longer a student, finding internships became damn near impossible. So how in the hell was I suppose to gain this experience to get into these programs and get the starter jobs in my career field?

It absolutely sucked. Heck, it still does.

Coming out of college I found I did not have enough experience. Now, two years late, I've been asked in interviews why am I applying for this job when I have a degree, as though working certain jobs are beneath me. I just couldn't understand. For the jobs I badly wanted I was under-qualified, and for the jobs that I assumed would be a breeze to get, I was over-qualified. Something has got to give!

It is tough out here. You go to school to further your education with thoughts of one-upping yourself, only to find that isn't how it really works. For experience I can truly say, don't give up. Apply to those jobs that you may feel you do not meet the requirements, but really can see yourself doing. Do not be afraid to contact those in charge and ask questions. And in the mean time, volunteer in your field, network and mingle and keep your skills current.

It would be pretty dope to end this by saying I've finally gotten my dream job, but I haven't. I'm okay with that. This time off and various interning, volunteering and the two jobs I've held since returning home have given me more knowledge about myself and ultimately what I'd like to do. I'm going to keep at it and if you are going through this, you should too!

About two weeks ago I finally gave into my curiosities after speaking with a friend K about dating apps. A few friends had mentioned their hook-ups, their new-found boos, and recent hangout buddies were all products of a dating app. I'd been on the fence about signing up to use any of the applications for many reasons. The main reasons I stayed clear of them are I was not looking for a relationship nor was I looking for relations. While I enjoy meeting people while I'm out-and-about, lets be honest, I'm a bit socially awkward. I've been bored with my social life and decided I needed to meet new people, but with my schedule it's a bit difficult to do so while in route to work, volunteering or the gas station.

K had mentioned the guys she's met, all of the interesting conversations and people she's encountered. Who knew?! I just knew she was an outwardly social person who attracted people without the aid of dating apps (and she does). After talking to her and really realizing how dry my line has been I said fuck it, why not? Only thing is, a part of me knew why not. I'm uneasy when guys are too aggressive and I get bored if the conversation lags or after awhile a guy doesn't show some kind of interest (not sexually). Anywhos so far here are my thoughts on the sites I've tried out.

Tinder: DTF?
From all of the stories I've heard, I immediately knew Tinder wasn't for me, EVER. I was told no one looks for love or anything aside from a new fuck on Tinder. Um, I'm not interested in participating in speed-date-like one night stands. I'll pass. I think I used this one for about two or three days. The conversations were pretty wack, aside from one guy who I happened to have gone to high school with. Most of the convos started off basic as hell with the generic hi how are you, why are you using this site. I just decided not to put myself through the annoyance.

Black Dating For Free: WHOMP!
This one I can't even really report on. I used it for maybe two hours and checked back after several hours and the likes where there, but it was totally off from what I sought after in the profile questionnaire. Many of the men were over 35, profile pictures were throwing me off, and to top it off you've gotta pay! What exactly am I paying for? I can find better on Facebook for free!

Meld: May be promising if I were actually seeking a relationship and/or love.
This one was like a breath of fresh air. Handsome career men (networking plus!) who had their minds made up about where they were going and what they wanted. Yas! This site allows you to look, like and all but it costs to message. Again, cheap me only seeking new conversation and possible networking wasn't with it. However, if ever I do decide to really date I wouldn't hesitate to use this site along with the old fashioned method of hanging out in certain places to meet men.

OkCupid: Fun!
So I totally did not know this was a real thing. If you are a fan of Black & Sexy TV you know what series has fun with this. K really seemed to like this one. She mentioned there were way more people on this app, so many choices and new tryings. She was right. I've experienced every type of dating app person on OkCupid; the man seeking love and marriage (I had a guy tell me he's willing to share everything -love, heart, soul- with me and we'd only said hello and what we do for a living), the man that hopes you're DTF and if not he's gonna try it anyways, the I'm too-cool for this app but obviously not because I'm always online, the man that's just recently got out of a relationship and is just seeking new fun (meaning everything opposite of the ex), the lets-meet-up-and-have-coffee-oh-you're-not-into-coffee-or-don't-want-to-meet-me-well-fuck-you guy, the I know you don't know me but give me your number let me take you out guy, and the cool down-to-earth I can actually hold a conversation man. 
I've briefly spoken to a "comedian" who pretty much disliked me after awhile because I didn't get his jokes (it's freaking messaging). I've been invited on dinner dates, some of which I've turned down (I may write more on these and my vibes of a Catfish) and a few I'm skeptical about accepting but feel I must find a spying-I-can-stay-hidden-but-close-enough friend to bring along. I've even had a guy message me "could you use some extra help w/ your bills" . . . I take it he's in the low budget porn industry seeking young females to recruit (my opinion because of course he didn't answer any of my questions). Smh a mess, but funny. The good conversations (and yes networking) has overpowered the creepily bad ones. I have found myself checking this app every 2-3 days (that's often to me) so I guess I'll continue to use it for now.

Conclusion:
All apps are shoot and miss. On each site you'll meet those who can hold conversations, those who are eager for love, those who seem to not have a care in the world and only seek hook-ups. It is what you make of it and what you want to take from it. I'm sure some of the guys I've typed words to may feel like I'm a catfish, because I won't give in to anything (phone number, date, meet up in a public place early in the day). One step at a time as I wade out of my comfort zone.

Look for a part 2 in a few weeks. Of course K knows the ins-and-outs of these apps so she's given me a few more to try out!

Just like all other aspects of our bodies, our treasure chests need grooming and some TLC. Aside from proper cleansing methods (from the way we wipe to the way we wash), there are ways to keep the hidden do pretty. To tame the hidden mane there are two major methods known to me; shaving (although I'm not really with that) and waxing.

Let's talk method one: Shaving.

Shaving is easy, budget friendly, and takes little to no time. You are able to "touch up" when need be and take off as much or as little as you'd like. Shaving lasts a few days or so depending on hair growth.

A few things to be mindful of:

1. Using disposal razors only once when grooming below.

2. Shave in the direction of hair growth.

3. Be gentle!


Method Two: Waxing.

Waxing may sound painful, and depending on your pain level can be, but it is so worth it! Beauty is pain. Although it can be pricey, if you are like me and not willing to learn to wax yourself, the results are pretty awesome. Waxing can last a few weeks depending on personal hair growth.

1. If going to an esthetician seek a salon that is reputable, sanitary and has history! (You want someone clean and who has some experience in this field)

2. Don't be afraid to do research! (I have personally read reviews, called salons, gone in to take a look around - especially watching eyebrow waxings if out in the open to and looking at restrooms)

3. If you do go through with a waxing don't be afraid to speak up about what it is you want or how it may feel. In this process make sure your technician isn't double-dipping (that's a BIG no no, GERMS!)

Both processes can be achieved safely and both are acceptable grooming tactics. It's all about preference.

Generation Y is a busy bunch filled with recent graduates, current students, employers and more. There are a million and one things we each have to do on a daily basis. With all of the latest technologies at our finger-tips we all seek instant gratification. We order food via apps, we text to set up appointments, we share with many friends our daily doings via social media. Most of the time we just do not have the time. Booty calls make life a bit less stress and sex somewhat regular.

There are many pros and cons to a booty call partnership:

With age comes responsibilities and with responsibilities come sacrifices. And as I grow older [and wiser I might add] I realize all of the sacrifices that I make whether knowingly or unknowingly. There are bills to be paid, students loans to be paid off, the essentials and necessities of everyday living and then some. Oh, and do not have a child or children, because the sacrifices increase 10-fold. The major thing I've noticed among my peers would be the sacrifice of face to face social lives. Many of us count meetings or the typical grab a bit to eat during lunch or after work as a social outing. We simply do not have the time between work, the gym, and running errands to do some of the things we used to do without some in depth planning. And the way most of our budgets and accounts are set up, forget the clubs, being in bed is really where it's at.

With the recent events in my life I find myself really focusing on paying off my student loans, saving for a car, and building my brand. My wallet is tighter than ever, my friend circle has now been formed into a triangle, and my living habits can probably be graded under what I experienced in college. That may seem shitty as hell, but it's the truth. I've somewhat become a hermit, but the increase in other things in my life is amazing I must admit. To be honest, ever now and then I may splurge a bit and eat out, hit a lounge or bar with associates, or even book a flight for a trip across the map. You have to treat yourself on occasion, but that comes after the sacrifices and progress has been made.

Have you noticed an increase or even decrease in the amount of sacrifices you have made whether you had to for an immediate reason or you've chosen to do so for a future goal? Feel free to share sacrifices and or tips you have gone through that has lead to success or lessons in adulthood.

My best friends were met late in my life. I met my best friend and brother freshman year in high school. I’m sure we met on the school bus, but who knows how that first conversation started. We’ve had our good and bad moments. I’ve tried to kick him out after play fighting and breaking my bracelet. He’s celebrated Christmas with my family and has never forgotten it (he doesn’t celebrate holidays). He’s let me vent to him about all kinds of stuff even boys and sex and is the only person I let come at me about why I am not in a relationship and question when it’ll happen. He can be annoying, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world! Female “friends” were there, went, came and gone, but he’s remained a constant. He deals with my attitudes and isn’t afraid to (try) to set me straight. An unbreakable bond for sure.

LB is definitely one of my bestest friends and sister. Of course I looked at her freshman year of college like gosh you’re super annoying! But, like fungus, people have a way of growing on you. She’s supported me through some of my toughest times and has celebrated some of my greatest growing moments. She doesn’t sugar coat anything with me no matter how I may feel about it. That’s a real friend. She challenges me and pushes me to do more. Of course we’ve had our girl fights, females have tried to test our friendship and then some.

Although I've known some people longer and have even been through some of the craziest things (fights, rides in cop cars, family issues) these two are my "chosen family." They take the bad as well as the good, support me and push me when needed. It isn't about all they do for me, because I supply them with the same love and more. It's give and take like any other relationship. That's what real friends do for friends. Even though I still say I didn't really choose them.   :)

Hi, I'm Viola. I was raised to openly communicate about all things aside from family business with outsiders. I have a vagina and do not mind talking about things that have to do with vaginas, be it health care, grooming, sex . . . well I'm sure you get the picture. So recently, I had a discussion with a friend about Vagisil products. The discussion arose from us being given the wash products along with other women. From some of the statements my friend made I got the impression that she felt the products represented something nasty and she did not want to be associated with it at all. Immediately I reacted. So you mean to tell me you think Vagisil and its' products are a negative thing? I mean hello you have a vagina and I'm sure you take care of it (at least I'd hope). I went into how I understood they have vaginal itch creams and that is something most, if not all of us, are familiar with. I get that the cream kind of has a negative rep for whatever reason. What gave the cream more negative "shine" was the Love & Hip Hop Hollywood episode where Ray J dumped out Teairra Marí's things which included Vagisil cream. That show and scene, ratchet I know, but still it helped my point. The episode prior to that one Ray J's girlfriend Princess tried to put Teairra on blast about having to use the cream as though she were nasty (which it later came out that she used it due to messing around with Ray). However, there wasn't a rise of women backing Teairra and properly caring for her lady parts. Yes I did go there in conversation with my friend.