I've been back living at home with my mother and step-father for a little over a year now and I'm noticing things about them that I am sure has happened while I was away. It makes me laugh when I have to constantly try to explain different technologies to them. My mom is now a pro at turning on laptops, getting on the Internet and logging into her email account, but she still can't figure out how to copy and paste or upload a document. My step-dad always has a cooler phone than I do, but aside from placing calls and text messages, he's clueless on how to save contacts and change ringer profiles. Typical "old people" stuff.

As of late I find myself either bored to death or fearful of death when I am in the car with them. My mom, specifically, has a thing for driving slow in the fast lane and fast in the slow lane. I'm confused. She's in a rush in no traffic and relaxed when we've got somewhere to be during rush hour. During one of these rides I realized two things; one, I really need to get a car ASAP and just run errands for her and two, my mom is really aging now.

It causes me to look back on all of the times I called my parents old when in fact they were young. I remember my little cousin and I having a debate with my mom and uncle (his dad). We were talking about them being old, their old ways, and the progression happening all around us that they weren't ready for. Both sides had valid points, although I didn't agree back then. 

But coming home and seeing the salt and pepper hair (or lack of hair), the tired eyes, the forgetfulness and short attention spans really saddens me. We like to tease our elders about aging, but what happens next? And thinking about what happens next can be scary (at least for me). This realization of age and attempting to accept the fact that my parents have aged constantly reminds me that life truely is too short.

Lately I’ve been strongly debating whether or not I should delete my Facebook page. Each time I’m about to delete it, I see photos or a family member that I’ve just connected with and I’m like oh no, too much beauty and so many memories, save it. I’ve honestly only gotten into social media in an attempt to be, well, more social. However, I feel in a way, it has backfired.

First off let me just put it out there that aside from my Tumblr page, each of my social media accounts were made by other people. During my freshman year of high school a cute guy in my class (that I’d kind of hit it off with) made me a Myspace page in our computer class. He decided to do so so we could stay in touch in case we didn’t have any classes together the next year. And because he couldn’t believe I was a high schooler not on Myspace. I mean, he could’ve just asked for my number and we could’ve stayed in touch that way, but whatever. I ended up agreeing and fell into the Myspace crowd.

The same thing occurred when it was time for me to go off to college. This time a close female friend who was like a big sister to me made my Facebook page. This time it took me awhile to really get into it. I was still holding on to Myspace. I’d gotten so used to changing my background and adding what I thought were the dopest songs on a hidden playlist. Eventually, that all got played out for me, and my Facebook usage slowly crept up.

Anywhos, now I’m feeling those feeling of needing to be free from it all. There’s so many other things I can do when I find any ounce of downtime. Write. Read. Workout. What was once a fun way to pass time has become just so blah. It seems the negative posts outnumber the positive ones. The only difference in deleting my Facebook page in comparison to my Myspace page is the connections and networking I’ve been able to do. Business and education always comes first for me. For whatever reason I feel if I delete my page I’ll miss out on some opportunities.

As of today, I’ve made up my mind that come summer it’s out of here. I mean I have a Twitter (which I barely use). That can somewhat be my social connect.

I’m a phone call, send me a text and lets meet-up kind of lady. When I do interact I like real life up-close and able to touch interaction. So mid-June I’ll finally be saying bye-bye to my Facebook page after 6 years. R.I.P.

About two weeks ago I finally gave into my curiosities after speaking with a friend K about dating apps. A few friends had mentioned their hook-ups, their new-found boos, and recent hangout buddies were all products of a dating app. I'd been on the fence about signing up to use any of the applications for many reasons. The main reasons I stayed clear of them are I was not looking for a relationship nor was I looking for relations. While I enjoy meeting people while I'm out-and-about, lets be honest, I'm a bit socially awkward. I've been bored with my social life and decided I needed to meet new people, but with my schedule it's a bit difficult to do so while in route to work, volunteering or the gas station.

K had mentioned the guys she's met, all of the interesting conversations and people she's encountered. Who knew?! I just knew she was an outwardly social person who attracted people without the aid of dating apps (and she does). After talking to her and really realizing how dry my line has been I said fuck it, why not? Only thing is, a part of me knew why not. I'm uneasy when guys are too aggressive and I get bored if the conversation lags or after awhile a guy doesn't show some kind of interest (not sexually). Anywhos so far here are my thoughts on the sites I've tried out.

Tinder: DTF?
From all of the stories I've heard, I immediately knew Tinder wasn't for me, EVER. I was told no one looks for love or anything aside from a new fuck on Tinder. Um, I'm not interested in participating in speed-date-like one night stands. I'll pass. I think I used this one for about two or three days. The conversations were pretty wack, aside from one guy who I happened to have gone to high school with. Most of the convos started off basic as hell with the generic hi how are you, why are you using this site. I just decided not to put myself through the annoyance.

Black Dating For Free: WHOMP!
This one I can't even really report on. I used it for maybe two hours and checked back after several hours and the likes where there, but it was totally off from what I sought after in the profile questionnaire. Many of the men were over 35, profile pictures were throwing me off, and to top it off you've gotta pay! What exactly am I paying for? I can find better on Facebook for free!

Meld: May be promising if I were actually seeking a relationship and/or love.
This one was like a breath of fresh air. Handsome career men (networking plus!) who had their minds made up about where they were going and what they wanted. Yas! This site allows you to look, like and all but it costs to message. Again, cheap me only seeking new conversation and possible networking wasn't with it. However, if ever I do decide to really date I wouldn't hesitate to use this site along with the old fashioned method of hanging out in certain places to meet men.

OkCupid: Fun!
So I totally did not know this was a real thing. If you are a fan of Black & Sexy TV you know what series has fun with this. K really seemed to like this one. She mentioned there were way more people on this app, so many choices and new tryings. She was right. I've experienced every type of dating app person on OkCupid; the man seeking love and marriage (I had a guy tell me he's willing to share everything -love, heart, soul- with me and we'd only said hello and what we do for a living), the man that hopes you're DTF and if not he's gonna try it anyways, the I'm too-cool for this app but obviously not because I'm always online, the man that's just recently got out of a relationship and is just seeking new fun (meaning everything opposite of the ex), the lets-meet-up-and-have-coffee-oh-you're-not-into-coffee-or-don't-want-to-meet-me-well-fuck-you guy, the I know you don't know me but give me your number let me take you out guy, and the cool down-to-earth I can actually hold a conversation man. 
I've briefly spoken to a "comedian" who pretty much disliked me after awhile because I didn't get his jokes (it's freaking messaging). I've been invited on dinner dates, some of which I've turned down (I may write more on these and my vibes of a Catfish) and a few I'm skeptical about accepting but feel I must find a spying-I-can-stay-hidden-but-close-enough friend to bring along. I've even had a guy message me "could you use some extra help w/ your bills" . . . I take it he's in the low budget porn industry seeking young females to recruit (my opinion because of course he didn't answer any of my questions). Smh a mess, but funny. The good conversations (and yes networking) has overpowered the creepily bad ones. I have found myself checking this app every 2-3 days (that's often to me) so I guess I'll continue to use it for now.

Conclusion:
All apps are shoot and miss. On each site you'll meet those who can hold conversations, those who are eager for love, those who seem to not have a care in the world and only seek hook-ups. It is what you make of it and what you want to take from it. I'm sure some of the guys I've typed words to may feel like I'm a catfish, because I won't give in to anything (phone number, date, meet up in a public place early in the day). One step at a time as I wade out of my comfort zone.

Look for a part 2 in a few weeks. Of course K knows the ins-and-outs of these apps so she's given me a few more to try out!

Just like all other aspects of our bodies, our treasure chests need grooming and some TLC. Aside from proper cleansing methods (from the way we wipe to the way we wash), there are ways to keep the hidden do pretty. To tame the hidden mane there are two major methods known to me; shaving (although I'm not really with that) and waxing.

Let's talk method one: Shaving.

Shaving is easy, budget friendly, and takes little to no time. You are able to "touch up" when need be and take off as much or as little as you'd like. Shaving lasts a few days or so depending on hair growth.

A few things to be mindful of:

1. Using disposal razors only once when grooming below.

2. Shave in the direction of hair growth.

3. Be gentle!


Method Two: Waxing.

Waxing may sound painful, and depending on your pain level can be, but it is so worth it! Beauty is pain. Although it can be pricey, if you are like me and not willing to learn to wax yourself, the results are pretty awesome. Waxing can last a few weeks depending on personal hair growth.

1. If going to an esthetician seek a salon that is reputable, sanitary and has history! (You want someone clean and who has some experience in this field)

2. Don't be afraid to do research! (I have personally read reviews, called salons, gone in to take a look around - especially watching eyebrow waxings if out in the open to and looking at restrooms)

3. If you do go through with a waxing don't be afraid to speak up about what it is you want or how it may feel. In this process make sure your technician isn't double-dipping (that's a BIG no no, GERMS!)

Both processes can be achieved safely and both are acceptable grooming tactics. It's all about preference.

With age comes responsibilities and with responsibilities come sacrifices. And as I grow older [and wiser I might add] I realize all of the sacrifices that I make whether knowingly or unknowingly. There are bills to be paid, students loans to be paid off, the essentials and necessities of everyday living and then some. Oh, and do not have a child or children, because the sacrifices increase 10-fold. The major thing I've noticed among my peers would be the sacrifice of face to face social lives. Many of us count meetings or the typical grab a bit to eat during lunch or after work as a social outing. We simply do not have the time between work, the gym, and running errands to do some of the things we used to do without some in depth planning. And the way most of our budgets and accounts are set up, forget the clubs, being in bed is really where it's at.

With the recent events in my life I find myself really focusing on paying off my student loans, saving for a car, and building my brand. My wallet is tighter than ever, my friend circle has now been formed into a triangle, and my living habits can probably be graded under what I experienced in college. That may seem shitty as hell, but it's the truth. I've somewhat become a hermit, but the increase in other things in my life is amazing I must admit. To be honest, ever now and then I may splurge a bit and eat out, hit a lounge or bar with associates, or even book a flight for a trip across the map. You have to treat yourself on occasion, but that comes after the sacrifices and progress has been made.

Have you noticed an increase or even decrease in the amount of sacrifices you have made whether you had to for an immediate reason or you've chosen to do so for a future goal? Feel free to share sacrifices and or tips you have gone through that has lead to success or lessons in adulthood.

Late last week I attended the tapping of the talk show The Real with LB and a dear friend (LB's sister). This was the first tapping I've ever experienced that did not revolve around music (ie, singing or dance-based show). I was excited! More so to see Loni Love in action up-close and even more so about seeing the production side of things (journalism nerd to the fullest!).

After hours of waiting in a parking garage and another hour walking a distance and waiting in line, we finally made it to the stage studio for the taping. Yes! Let's go! After primary instructions from the audience control guy Jay, who obviously enjoys his job to fullest and gives out such happy vibes, the ladies eventually come one set. All of them just as gorgeous as we all have seen on television.

Throughout the tapping I noticed, damn, no crowd interaction what-so-ever. I mean sheesh, I get that this is the third show you all have tapped today, but what about your fans? People drove and some even flew from out of town. No hi's, no hey girl get your life during breaks between sets, no blowing of kisses, just . . . no interaction with the audience. It was them and it was us. No longer separated by a television screen, but distance definitely there. We all, well let me speak for myself, I enjoyed the interaction with audience guy Jay although I know it is his job to hype us up.

The most interaction between those on the show and the audience was definitely when special guest Lala Anthony waved at audience members and waved goodbye and smiled at us all as she departed, with individuals at her side probably prepping her for what was next on her schedule. The only time I can recount the actual hosts even acknowledging the audience was saying goodbye, which I am sure is a generic gesture. I totally understand there isn't enough time to speak to all fans, check hair and makeup in-between takes, and get your mind right on the teleprompter and the next topic of conversation, but a little something would have been nice.

It was an experience that I can now tack off the list. I mean hey, I got to see Lala Anthony, a free gift (on a REAL budget) and to see the inter-workings of television production outside of a classroom (which was the dopest part).

“I have no idea what to call Black Americans, African Americans, Blacks, but I don’t want to be that racist white guy or offend anyone and have to defend my ass.” – A “white” guy from a diversity workshop in 2012.


How do you identify yourself other than human:
Do you prefer the term African American, Black, both, or neither?

This is something I’ve struggled with a majority of my life. I went in and out of stages where I cared and I did not care. Coming up I heard members of my family say I’m Black or she’s Black we in the Black community, so I just went along with Black. However, I by color was not and am not Black. Heck, my genetic makeup isn’t just “Black.” As I grew older, in films I heard African American. In books I read “we” were labeled African Americans. On forms and applications it said African Americans. In history classes (which are so watered down when in comes to “Black” history), we are taught we are from Africa. Okay, so I guess I’m African American. Wait, hold up. I’ve never been to Africa, nor has my mother, or her mother, or her mother, or hers. So, how am I African American? I went back to Black. Then I was Black American. Then I was other. Then I was confused, again. Then I was like fuck labels!

So I pose this question to all of you, what do you ID yourself as? Mexican, Hispanic, Latino/a, Black, Belizean, White, Caucasian, European. . . Have you ever felt confused like the guy in the opening quote when referencing someone? Please feel free to add to the conversation below.